Editorial License

Rob Hammerton, music educator etc.

Are We Good?

Well? … Are we?

I’ll back up.

Recently, I’ve had occasion to consider the state of a few friendships. No worries; this is not dire. It might be the opposite of dire. It might be right on the edge of complacency. Not all the way there, but within rock-throwing distance.

Earlier this week, I saw several posts right in a row from Facebook friends of mine (yes, we’ve gone to that social-media world) that suggested that Facebook’s mighty Algorithm For Predicting Your Online Viewing Wishes (Or Ours, Re-Packaged As Yours) had been causing all us Facebookers to only see posts from about two dozen of our online friends. So, if you only have that many, you’re in luck, I guess? But if you have ten times that, is it possible you’re missing posts from the rest of your community? LOTS of them? How many births, deaths, snow day announcements, jokes, political screeds, ESSENTIAL TRUTHS!! have you missed, just because the Evil Lords of Facebook are spoilsports?

Comment below,” said the posts, “so that we can thwart this Dire Turn of Events!”

So I did. What’s the harm? Keeping in social-media contact with somebody? No harm there, regardless of whether this Rumor turns out to be True.

And then I went to Snopes.com, and their fact-checkers pretty roundly pooh-pooh’d the rumor. Facebook’s doing a lot of weird things, they said, but this ain’t one of them.

Okay. Crisis averted. Stand down from red alert. Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.

Meanwhile, though, concurrently with that little (extremely) minor day of frantic … I also noticed posts from Facebook friends of mine that – when their names floated in front of my eyes for the first time in a while – made me realize that indeed, I was seeing their names for the first time in a while. Was it an algorithmic thing? Or just that I hadn’t scrolled down very far (or very often) in my News Feed lately, so that it was pretty much an effect of my Real Life taking precedence over my Online Existence?

The latter, I suspect. I can only be a conspiracy theorist about so many things, after all.

But, I thought, “it’s good to see those names.” And to bask for a moment in a good memory or two that we got to take part in, long ago or within the last few months. And especially good to think that, in all probability, the people attached to those names are still my friends, even if we haven’t interacted much online, or In Real Life, for a while.

I am fortunate, I further mused, to have a pack of people in my life about whom I never have to wonder, “are we still friends? Do we still care like we did once?” I enjoy seeing their posts, and I’ve amassed enough Likes and Comments to suspect that they enjoy seeing mine.

A lot of those people, well, I don’t get to see them in person more than once or twice a year. And it doesn’t seem to damage the relationships.

When social media first got going, I wondered if it would take the fun out of meeting in person on those semi- or fully-annual occasions. Before Facebook, by whose good offices you can kinda peek into other people’s lives and see what’s going on (or at least what they want the world to see is going on) … and, curiously, during and after Facebook, my college homecoming weekends have still been full of “Hey! How are ya! What’s going on! What’s new!” conversations. When we gather to open up another Drum Major Academy summer clinic week, we fall right back into all the prior silliness.

It’s good, every so often, to check in on the people whose avatars I see more than I see their actual live selves. But even if for some reason we don’t, very much … I like the idea that there are people in my circle of relationships about whom I don’t have to worry, “have we forgotten each other? Do we still think as fondly of each other as we used to?”

Sounds complacent, I know.

It would be, yes … if I didn’t have a pretty good sense that the answer to those questions, in a great many cases, is still yes. Whether we’ve known each other for forty years … or forty months … or forty weeks.

It’s a nice sense to be able to have. Especially in a world which, at the moment, seems intent on providing only the worst outcomes, the most craven and cruel attitudes, the least humane or friendly expressions.

Are we good?

Yeah. Yeah, we are. And no mere algorithm can come between us. Cue the violins. Get me Irving Berlin on the line, stat.

Good not to take this for granted. Note to self: make a retroactive New Year’s resolution to actively Not Take This For Granted.

But yeah. We’re good.

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February 7, 2018 - Posted by | Facebook, friends, social media | , , , , , , ,

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